Why This Outdated Dating Manual Did Not Need a Social-Media Update

The Rules, a dating instruction manual of yore by two ladies named Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider (they know what they’re talking about ’cause they’re married!), should, by now, have gone the way of the cave drawing or the horse and buggy, as a relic of times past. It was initially published in 1995, nearly 20 years ago, and we don’t even want to calculate what that means in dog years. But alas, it’s still hanging around, lurking in the bookshelves of various bricks and mortar stores where such things are sold; lingering on Amazon.com and giving us coquettish looks; promising such things as actual, official answers in the ongoing struggle to win a man and make him put a ring on it (I’m paraphrasing, of course).

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Far from aging gracefully and going away, it’s been updated to bring it up to speed with the newfangled ways in which we do things, you know, on the Facebook and World Wide Web and whatnot. Of course, business-wise, this makes sense. It’s a best-seller! In fact, there’s a whole franchise of Rules books, described by Elle as “one of the best self-help books of all time.” So why wouldn’t Fein and Schneider and their publisher hope to make some more money with a new installment of the book that promises answers to pressing social media-dating questions like these: “How long should I wait to respond to his text message? Can I friend him on Facebook? Why did he ask for my number but never call me?” 

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Well, they would. Grand Central Publishing released the book, Not Your Mother’s Rules, on January 8, and it’s ranked number 4 in dating books on Amazon. One would presume from the title and the pitch that the ladies behind it hope that the younger generations will lap this stuff up, just like their moms did. 

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Of course, it’s a self-help book, so I am predisposed to dislike it. Self-help books, especially those about dating, often fall into a category that could be better described as, well, undermining. The problems with such books for me are multifold. One, they posit that human relationships can be commoditized; that there is one path that works for all in terms of getting what you want. (They also presume, in a stereotypical manner, that what we all want is the same, and, I think, infer there’s some ongoing battle between men, who want one thing, and women, who want the opposite.) I don’t think those messages are true, and I don’t think they’re particularly healthy or helpful, either.

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Further, self-help books are published to make money. Those that say they’ll teach a reader how to get married or get the relationship they want do so by preying on the bewilderment, confusion, insecurity, and desires of women (and sometimes men, too). Sure, dating is hard. Sure, it’s difficult to find “the right person.” But the process should also to be fun, experiential, silly, weird, unique, and something we learn from. Figuring out what you want for yourself by doing it, that’s a great thing. Making dating about adhering to some code that a couple of people came up with and want to sell you so they can make money, well, that’s not so great. Women and men may read this stuff because they think it can’t hurt. Sometimes it feels good to believe that there are rules that can be followed to get what we want; it means we need only have the dedication and commitment to follow those rules, which is way easier than, for instance, thinking for ourselves deeply and making our own decisions, and having courage and believing in ourselves. 

RELATED: Old People Are Getting Better at Dating

Some of the advice in this book may not be categorically awful. Simplified to “don’t act like an obsessive”; “pause before you rush to do something you regret”; and “take care of yourself!” some instructions could actually be quite handy as a common-sense reminder. But categorizing it as stuff women need to follow to snag a man makes it highly problematic, even if the occasional tip is not so bad. And stuff like this, “New chapters include rules for text flirting: women under 30 wait 30 minutes to respond to a man’s text; older women should wait 4 hours,” as Pat Kiernan wrote today on his blog, is particularly disheartening, and inherently sort of woman-hating. Control your texting, The Rules ladies say. “Women shouldn’t take the first step to initiate any relationship — and that includes online dating,” they told the New York Daily News. Once you have a guy, ignore him, “at least for a little while.” And don’t sext until you’re married. That might save us from a few political scandals. But is this the kind of advice women need, in this day and age? 

If there was to be an excellent dating self-help book for the year 2013, I’d hope it would tell people to trust themselves. To behave as they see fit, according to the situation they’re in, regardless of age, because they are smart, lovely people who deserve the good things they put out into the world, and even if they make mistakes, they’ll find their way and do the right thing. That self-help book would tell women to stop reading dating self-help books, and instead to behave as though they knew they were wise enough to decide for themselves what they should do, to interpret the signs and make the right moves, or make the wrong ones and deal with that, too, instead of adhering to some rules that aren’t really the way we are at all. It would most of all tell everyone to be themselves, and stop pretending to be something else. Because The Rules, and those who follow them, create some weird perceptions among men and women. Suddenly anyone who does text someone right back is perceived somehow as needy or “too easy to get.” That’s especially odd given that a four-hour delay in a response, when you could respond quite easily, is actually rather rude. Would that we could rid the world of such descriptions as “hard to get” altogether, because more important than playing games or appearing a certain way (difficult to get?) is finding someone you care about and behaving a way that shows that you do. Why do we persist, instead, in making everything so convoluted and difficult?

We can only hope, I suppose, that as time progresses these tips will become as ancient and quaint-sounding as, for example, the instructions in Miss Leslie’s Behavior Book, published in the 1800s. Until then, a word of advice. Follow your instincts; if it feels right, it probably is; don’t believe everything you read in dating books, and maybe, do yourself a favor: Don’t read dating advice books at all. But DO read Miss Leslie’s, for snippets such as this: 

Now, that’s helpful advice. 

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Demi Moore Is Dating Harry Morton

01/12/2013 at 10:50 AM EST

Demi Moore and Harry Morton

Craig Barritt/WireImage; John Shearer/WireImage

Demi Moore has a new love interest.

The actress and restaurant owner Harry Morton have been on several dates in recent weeks, including one to the South Beverly Grill in Beverly Hills, according to a source.

"Demi was very giddy during her date with Harry," says the source. "She was really into him and seemed to very much enjoy his company."

Moore, 50, and Morton, 31, have also hung out together at Moore's Beverly Hills home, the source adds.

In November of 2012, Moore and ex Ashton Kutcher announced the end of their marriage. He filed for divorce in December and has been dating his That '70s Show costar Mila Kunis.

Harry Morton, who founded Pink Taco restaurant chain, dated Lindsay Lohan in 2006 and was linked to Jennifer Aniston in 2010.

A source told E! Online, who first reported the news, "They are just getting to know one another ... [Moore is] in a really good place at the moment and is hopeful about the future."

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Flu season puts businesses and employees in a bind

WASHINGTON (AP) — Nearly half the 70 employees at a Ford dealership in Clarksville, Ind., have been out sick at some point in the past month. It didn't have to be that way, the boss says.

"If people had stayed home in the first place, a lot of times that spread wouldn't have happened," says Marty Book, a vice president at Carriage Ford. "But people really want to get out and do their jobs, and sometimes that's a detriment."

The flu season that has struck early and hard across the U.S. is putting businesses and employees alike in a bind. In this shaky economy, many Americans are reluctant to call in sick, something that can backfire for their employers.

Flu was widespread in 47 states last week, up from 41 the week before, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said Friday. The only states without widespread flu were California, Mississippi and Hawaii. And the main strain of the virus circulating tends to make people sicker than usual.

Blake Fleetwood, president of Cook Travel in New York, says his agency is operating with less than 40 percent of its staff of 35 because of the flu and other ailments.

"The people here are working longer hours and it puts a lot of strain on everyone," Fleetwood says. "You don't know whether to ask people with the flu to come in or not." He says the flu is also taking its toll on business as customers cancel their travel plans: "People are getting the flu and they're reduced to a shriveling little mess and don't feel like going anywhere."

Many workers go to the office even when they're sick because they are worried about losing their jobs, says John Challenger, CEO of Challenger, Gray & Christmas, an employer consulting firm. Other employees report for work out of financial necessity, since roughly 40 percent of U.S. workers don't get paid if they are out sick. Some simply have a strong work ethic and feel obligated to show up.

Flu season typically costs employers $10.4 billion for hospitalization and doctor's office visits, according to the CDC. That does not include the costs of lost productivity from absences.

At Carriage Ford, Book says the company plans to make flu shots mandatory for all employees.

Linda Doyle, CEO of the Northcrest Community retirement home in Ames, Iowa, says the company took that step this year for its 120 employees, providing the shots at no cost. It is also supplying face masks for all staff.

And no one is expected to come into work if sick, she says.

So far, the company hasn't seen an outbreak of flu cases.

"You keep your fingers crossed and hope it continues this way," Doyle says. "You see the news and it's frightening. We just want to make sure that we're doing everything possible to keep everyone healthy. Cleanliness is really the key to it. Washing your hands. Wash, wash, wash."

Among other steps employers can take to reduce the spread of the flu on the job: holding meetings via conference calls, staggering shifts so that fewer people are on the job at the same time, and avoiding handshaking.

Newspaper editor Rob Blackwell says he had taken only two sick days in the last two years before coming down with the flu and then pneumonia in the past two weeks. He missed several days the first week of January and has been working from home the past week.

"I kept trying to push myself to get back to work because, generally speaking, when I'm sick I just push through it," says Blackwell, the Washington bureau chief for the daily trade paper American Banker.

Connecticut is the only state that requires some businesses to pay employees when they are out sick. Cities such as San Francisco and Washington have similar laws.

Challenger and others say attitudes are changing, and many companies are rethinking their sick policies to avoid officewide outbreaks of the flu and other infectious diseases.

"I think companies are waking up to the fact right now that you might get a little bit of gain from a person coming into work sick, but especially when you have an epidemic, if 10 or 20 people then get sick, in fact you've lost productivity," Challenger says.

___

Associated Press writers Mike Stobbe in Atlanta, Eileen A.J. Connelly in New York, Paul Wiseman in Washington, Barbara Rodriguez in Des Moines, Iowa, and Jim Salter in St. Louis contributed to this report.

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Wall Street Week Ahead: Attention turns to financial earnings

NEW YORK (Reuters) - After over a month of watching Capitol Hill and Pennsylvania Avenue, Wall Street can get back to what it knows best: Wall Street.

The first full week of earnings season is dominated by the financial sector - big investment banks and commercial banks - just as retail investors, free from the "fiscal cliff" worries, have started to get back into the markets.

Equities have risen in the new year, rallying after the initial resolution of the fiscal cliff in Washington on January 2. The S&P 500 on Friday closed its second straight week of gains, leaving it just fractionally off a five-year closing high hit on Thursday.

An array of financial companies - including Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan Chase - will report on Wednesday. Bank of America and Citigroup will join on Thursday.

"The banks have a read on the economy, on the health of consumers, on the health of demand," said Quincy Krosby, market strategist at Prudential Financial in Newark, New Jersey.

"What we're looking for is demand. Demand from small business owners, from consumers."

EARNINGS AND ECONOMIC EXPECTATIONS

Investors were greeted with a slightly better-than-anticipated first week of earnings, but expectations were low and just a few companies reported results.

Fourth quarter earnings and revenues for S&P 500 companies are both expected to have grown by 1.9 percent in the past quarter, according to Thomson Reuters I/B/E/S.

Few large corporations have reported, with Wells Fargo the first bank out of the gate on Friday, posting a record profit. The bank, however, made fewer mortgage loans than in the third quarter and its shares were down 0.8 percent for the day.

The KBW bank index <.bkx>, a gauge of U.S. bank stocks, is up about 30 percent from a low hit in June, rising in six of the last eight months, including January.

Investors will continue to watch earnings on Friday, as General Electric will round out the week after Intel's report on Thursday.

HOUSING, INDUSTRIAL DATA ON TAP

Next week will also feature the release of a wide range of economic data.

Tuesday will see the release of retail sales numbers and the Empire State manufacturing index, followed by CPI data on Wednesday.

Investors and analysts will also focus on the housing starts numbers and the Philadelphia Federal Reserve factory activity index on Thursday. The Thomson Reuters/University of Michigan consumer sentiment numbers are due on Friday.

Jim Paulsen, chief investment officer at Wells Capital Management in Minneapolis, said he expected to see housing numbers continue to climb.

"They won't be that surprising if they're good, they'll be rather eye-catching if they're not good," he said. "The underlying drive of the markets, I think, is economic data. That's been the catalyst."

POLITICAL ANXIETY

Worries about the protracted fiscal cliff negotiations drove the markets in the weeks before the ultimate January 2 resolution, but fear of the debt ceiling fight has yet to command investors' attention to the same extent.

The agreement was likely part of the reason for a rebound in flows to stocks. U.S.-based stock mutual funds gained $7.53 billion after the cliff resolution in the week ending January 9, the most in a week since May 2001, according to Thomson Reuters' Lipper.

Markets are unlikely to move on debt ceiling news unless prominent lawmakers signal that they are taking a surprising position in the debate.

The deal in Washington to avert the cliff set up another debt battle, which will play out in coming months alongside spending debates. But this alarm has been sounded before.

"The market will turn the corner on it when the debate heats up," Prudential Financial's Krosby said.

The CBOE Volatility index <.vix> a gauge of traders' anxiety, is off more than 25 percent so far this month and it recently hit its lowest since June 2007, before the recession began.

"The market doesn't react to the same news twice. It will have to be more brutal than the fiscal cliff," Krosby said. "The market has been conditioned that, at the end, they come up with an agreement."

(Reporting by Gabriel Debenedetti; editing by Rodrigo Campos)

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Obama, Karzai accelerate end of U.S. combat role in Afghanistan

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - President Barack Obama and Afghan President Hamid Karzai agreed on Friday to speed up the handover of combat operations in Afghanistan to Afghan forces, raising the prospect of an accelerated U.S. withdrawal from the country and underscoring Obama's determination to wind down a long, unpopular war.

Signaling a narrowing of differences, Karzai appeared to give ground in talks at the White House on U.S. demands for immunity from prosecution for any American troops who stay in Afghanistan beyond 2014, a concession that could allow Obama to keep at least a small residual force there.

Both leaders also threw their support behind tentative Afghan reconciliation efforts with Taliban insurgents, endorsing the establishment of a Taliban political office in Qatar in hopes of bringing insurgents to inter-Afghan talks.

Outwardly, at least, the meeting appeared to be something of a success for both men, who need to show their vastly different publics they are making progress in their goals for Afghanistan. There were no signs of the friction that has frequently marked Obama's relations with Karzai.

Karzai's visit came amid stepped-up deliberations in Washington over the size and scope of the U.S. military role in Afghanistan once the NATO-led combat mission concludes at the end of 2014.

"By the end of next year, 2014, the transition will be complete," Obama said at a news conference with Karzai standing at his side. "Afghans will have full responsibility for their security, and this war will come to a responsible end."

The Obama administration has been considering a residual force of between 3,000 and 9,000 troops - far fewer than some U.S. commanders propose - to conduct counterterrorism operations and to train and assist Afghan forces.

A top Obama aide said this week that the administration does not rule out a complete withdrawal after 2014, a move that some experts say would be disastrous for the weak Afghan central government and its fledgling security apparatus.

Obama on Friday left open the possibility of that so-called "zero option" when he several times used the word "if" to suggest that a post-2014 U.S. presence was far from guaranteed.

Insisting that Afghan forces were "stepping up" faster than expected, Obama said Afghan troops would take over the lead in combat missions across the country this spring, rather than waiting until the summer as originally planned. NATO troops will then assume a "support role," he said.

"It will be a historic moment and another step toward full Afghan sovereignty," Obama said.

Obama said final decisions on this year's troop cuts and the post-2014 U.S. military role were still months away, but his comments suggested he favors a stepped-up withdrawal timetable.

There are some 66,000 U.S. troops currently in Afghanistan. Washington's NATO allies have been steadily reducing their troop numbers as well despite doubts about the ability of Afghan forces to shoulder full responsibility for security.

'WAR OF NECESSITY'

Karzai voiced satisfaction over Obama's agreement to turn over control of detention centers to Afghan authorities, a source of dispute between their countries, although the White House released no details of the accord on that subject.

Obama once called Afghanistan a "war of necessity." But he is heading into a second term looking for an orderly way out of the conflict, which was sparked by the September 11, 2001, attacks on the United States by an al Qaeda network harbored by Afghanistan's Taliban rulers.

He faces the challenge of pressing ahead with his re-election pledge to continue winding down the war while preparing the Afghan government to prevent a slide into chaos and a Taliban resurgence once most NATO forces are gone.

Former Senator Chuck Hagel, Obama's nominee to become defense secretary, is likely to favor a sizable troop reduction.

Karzai, meanwhile, is eager to show he is working to ensure Afghans regain full control of their territory after a foreign military presence of more than 11 years.

Asked whether the cost of the war in lives and money was worth it, Obama said: "We achieved our central goal ... or have come very close to achieving our central goal, which is to de-capacitate al Qaeda, to dismantle them, to make sure that they can't attack us again."

He added: "Have we achieved everything that some might have imagined us achieving in the best of scenarios? Probably not. This is a human enterprise, and you fall short of the ideal."

Obama made clear that unless the Afghan government agrees to legal immunity for U.S. troops, he would withdraw them all after 2014 - as happened in Iraq at the end of 2011.

Karzai, who criticized NATO over civilian deaths, said that with Obama's agreement to transfer detention centers and the planned withdrawal of U.S. forces from Afghan villages, "I can go to the Afghan people and argue for immunity" in a bilateral security pact being negotiated.

Addressing students at Georgetown University later in the day, the Afghan leader predicted with certainty that the United States would keep a limited number of troops in Afghanistan after 2014, in part to battle al Qaeda and its affiliates.

"One of the reasons the United States will continue a limited presence in Afghanistan after 2014 in certain facilities in Afghanistan is because we have decided together to continue to fight against al Qaeda," Karzai said. "So there will be no respite in that."

Many of Obama's Republican opponents have criticized him for setting a withdrawal timetable and accuse him of undercutting the U.S. mission by reducing troop numbers too quickly.

Karzai and his U.S. partners have not always seen eye to eye, even though the American military has been crucial to preventing insurgent attempts to oust him.

In October, Karzai accused Washington of playing a double game by fighting the war in Afghan villages instead of going after insurgents who cross the border from neighboring Pakistan.

In Friday's news conference, Karzai did not back down from his previous comments that foreigners were responsible for some of the official corruption critics say is rampant in Afghanistan. But he acknowledged: "There is corruption in the Afghan government that we are fighting against."

Adding to tensions has been a rash of deadly "insider" attacks by Afghan soldiers and police against NATO-led troops training or working with them. U.S. forces have also been involved in a series of incidents that enraged Afghans, including burning Korans, which touched off days of rioting.

(Additional reporting by Roberta Rampton, Mark Felsenthal, Jeff Mason, Phil Stewart, Tabassum Zakaria, David Alexander; Editing by Warren Strobel and Will Dunham)

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Lenovo IdeaTab A2107 comes to AT&T for $200 with no contract

AT&T (T) on Friday announced the addition of the Lenovo (LNVGY) IdeaTab A2107 to its line of tablet PCs. The 7-inch slate is equipped with a 1GHz dual-core processor, 1GB of RAM, 16GB of internal storage, 3G connectivity and Android 4.0 Ice Cream Sandwich. The IdeaTab A2107 also includes a 3-megapixel rear camera, a microSD slot, a front-facing camera and a 3550 mAh battery. The tablet’s display isn’t nearly as good as the competition, however, sporting a mere 1024 x 600 resolution with a pixel density of 170 pixels per inch, falling short of Google’s (GOOG) similarly priced Nexus 7.

[More from BGR: Samsung cancels Windows RT plans in U.S.]

“The Lenovo IdeaTab is a great option for those in the market for a compact, multifunctional tablet at an affordable price,” said Chris Penrose, senior vice president of emerging devices at AT&T. “Connecting it to the AT&T network keeps customers connected while on the go to what matters most.”

[More from BGR: ‘Apple is done’ and Surface tablet is cool, according to teens]

The IdeaTab A2107 is available now for $ 200 without a two-year agreement or $ 100 on contract.

This article was originally published on BGR.com

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Alicia Keys, Brad Paisley, Katy Perry & More Set for Kids' Inaugural Concert

By Andrea Billups

01/11/2013 at 10:30 AM EST

Alicia Keys, Brad Paisley and Katy Perry

Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagi; Gatty; Splash News Online

Talk about a lot of talent in one place!

The Presidential Inaugural Committee announced Friday that Usher, John Legend, Stevie Wonder, Alicia Keys, Brad Paisley and Katy Perry will be performing for the Kids' Inaugural Concert, set for Jan. 19 in Washington, D.C., in advance of President Barack Obama's being sworn in for a second term.

The kids' concert continues a tradition started by First Lady Michelle Obama and Vice President Joe Biden's wife, Dr. Jill Biden, four years ago during the President's first inaugural celebration.

Events will also feature Nick Cannon, fun., Marc Anthony, Smokey Robinson and members of the Glee cast, among others yet to be announced.

Already announced was that Beyonc é, James Taylor and Kelly Clarkson will perform at the inauguration ceremony Jan. 21 on the West Front of the U.S. Capitol.

Beyoncé makes a return trip to star in Obama's inaugural festivities after serenading the President and First Lady during their first dance at the Neighborhood Ball in 2009 with the Etta James classic "At Last."

This time around, the PIC is hosting two official balls: the Commander-in-Chief’s Ball for members of the U.S. military, and the Inaugural Ball, which brings members of the public together with local leaders.
 
 

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Lung cancer scans backed for older, heavy smokers

The American Cancer Society says there now is enough evidence to recommend screening certain older, heavy smokers for lung cancer.

The society is releasing new guidelines Friday for annual CT lung scans. But they are only recommended for people ages 55 to 74 who have smoked a pack of cigarettes a day for 30 years or the equivalent, such as two packs a day for 15 years. Research shows that screening these people can cut the risk of dying of lung cancer by 20 percent.

Whether screening would help others is not known, so scans are not recommended for them.

Before patients decide whether to be screened, the guidelines say they should have a frank talk about risks and benefits with their doctors.

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Wall Street dips on Wells Fargo, Boeing; S&P up on week

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Stocks dipped on Friday after a record profit at Wells Fargo failed to attract buyers and Boeing shares were pressured by two further problems with its new Dreamliner aircraft.

The benchmark S&P 500 index fell slightly but was still up on the week and just a few points shy of a five-year high set Thursday.

Wells Fargo , the first major U.S. bank to post earnings this season, reported a record fourth-quarter profit as it set aside less money to cover bad loans and made more fees from mortgages. Its shares fell 2 percent to $34.70, erasing Thursday's gains but up 1.6 percent on the month.

Shares of Dow component Boeing fell 2 percent to $75.49 after a cracked cockpit window and an oil leak on separate flights in Japan added to other mishaps earlier in the week and to safety concerns about its new 787 Dreamliner. The US Department of Transportation said the jet would be subject to a review of its critical systems by regulators.

"The market is giving up a little of its rise yesterday," said Peter Jankovskis, co-chief investment officer at OakBrook Investments in Lisle, Illinois.

He said declines in Wells Fargo and Boeing were pressuring the overall market, but the consolidation around current levels showed the market remained resilient.

The Dow Jones industrial average <.dji> fell 21.54 points or 0.16 percent, to 13,449.68, the S&P 500 <.spx> lost 3.54 points, or 0.24 percent, to 1,468.58 and the Nasdaq Composite <.ixic> dropped 4.23 points, or 0.14 percent, to 3,117.53.

Best Buy shares rallied after its results showed a bit of a turnaround in its U.S. stores, though same-store sales were flat during the key holiday season. Shares were last up 12.2 percent at $13.70.

Basic materials shares were pressured after China's annual consumer inflation rate picked up to a seven-month high, narrowing the scope for the central bank to boost the economy by easing monetary policy. The S&P basic materials sector <.gspm> fell 0.7 percent.

Dendreon Corp shares jumped 18.2 percent to $6.03 after Sanford C. Bernstein upgraded the stock to "outperform" from "market-perform" and said the drugmaker could be one of the best performers in 2013.

U.S.-traded shares of India's No.2 software services provider Infosys Ltd jumped 18.3 percent to $51.98 after the company raised its revenue forecast.

(Editing by Bernadette Baum)

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Syria rebels seize base as envoy holds talks

BEIRUT/GENEVA (Reuters) - Rebels seized control of one of Syria's largest helicopter bases on Friday, opposition sources said, in their first capture of a military airfield used by President Bashar al-Assad's forces.

Fighting raged across the country as international mediator Lakhdar Brahimi sought a political solution to Syria's civil war, meeting senior U.S. and Russian officials in Geneva.

But the two world powers are still deadlocked over Assad's fate in any transition.

The United States, which backs the 21-month-old revolt, says Assad can play no future role, while Syria's main arms supplier Russia said before the talks that his exit should not be a precondition for negotiations.

Syria is mired in bloodshed that has cost more than 60,000 lives and displaced millions of people. Severe winter weather is compounding their misery. The U.N. children's agency UNICEF says more than 2 million children are struggling to stay warm.

The capture of Taftanaz air base, after months of sporadic fighting, could help rebels solidify their hold on northern Syria, according to Rami Abdelrahman, head of the pro-opposition Syrian Observatory for Human Rights.

TACTICAL, NOT STRATEGIC GAIN

But Yezid Sayigh, at the Carnegie Middle East Centre in Beirut, said it was not a game-changer, noting that it had taken months for the rebels to overrun a base whose usefulness to the military was already compromised by the clashes around it.

"This is a tactical rather than a strategic gain," he said.

In Geneva, U.N.-Arab League envoy Brahimi's closed-door talks began with individual meetings with U.S. Deputy Secretary of State William Burns and Russian Deputy Foreign Minister Mikhail Bogdanov. He later held talks with both sides together.

A U.S. official said negotiations would focus on "creating the conditions to advance a political solution - specifically a transitional governing body".

Six months ago, world powers meeting in Geneva proposed a transitional government but left open Assad's role. Brahimi told Reuters on Wednesday that the Syrian leader could play no part in such a transition and suggested it was time he quit.

Responding a day later, Syria's foreign ministry berated the veteran Algerian diplomat as "flagrantly biased toward those who are conspiring against Syria and its people".

Russia has argued that outside powers should not decide who should take part in any transitional government.

"Only the Syrians themselves can agree on a model or the further development of their country," Foreign Ministry spokesman Alexander Lukashevich said.

REFUGEE MISERY

But Syrians seem too divided for any such agreement.

The umbrella opposition group abroad, the Syrian National Coalition, said on Friday it had proposed a transition plan that would kept government institutions intact at a meeting with diplomats in London this week. But the plan has received no public endorsement from the opposition's foreign backers.

With no end to fighting in sight, the misery of Syrian civilians has rapidly increased, especially with the advent of some of the worst winter conditions in years.

Saudi Arabia said it would send $10 million worth of aid to help Syrian refugees in Jordan, where torrential rain has flooded hundreds of tents in the Zaatari refugee camp.

A fierce storm that swept the region has raised concerns for 600,000 Syrian refugees who have fled to neighboring countries, as well as more than 2.5 million displaced inside Syria, many of whom live in flimsy tents at unofficial border camps.

Opposition activists report dozens of weather-related deaths in Syria in the last four days. UNICEF said refugee children are at risk because conditions have hampered access to services.

Earlier this week, another United Nations agency said around one million Syrians were going hungry. The World Food Programme cited difficulties entering conflict zones and said that the few government-approved aid agencies allowed to distribute aid were stretched to the limit.

The WFP said it supplying rations to about 1.5 million people in Syria each month, far short of the 2.5 million deemed to be in need.

(Additional reporting by Alexander Dzsiadosz in Beirut and Raissa Kasolowsky in Abu Dhabi; Editing by Alistair Lyon)

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